Are you an aristo?
1. When you grew up, you most wanted to be
a.) ruler of the world
b.) king of the hill
c.) carmen miranda
d.) a bon vivant
2. In your free time you love to
a.) tend your chateaux
b.) have tea with your belle mere (mother-in-law)
c.) horse back ride at a break neck pace
d.) taunt peasants with their unworthiness
3. A typical meal for you would consist of:
a.) escargot with a rich Pinot Noir
b.) fresh bread with toasted goat’s milk cheese
d.) Neither ‘meal’ nor ‘typical’ are in my vocabulary; the air at Chanel is enough to sustain me. A cigarette wouldn’t go amiss…
4.) Your ideal home would be:
a.) the family chateau – birthplace of ancestors and forbears
b.) a trendy flat in London
c.) in a box off of the Chateau Rouge metro stop
d.) in the 6th – best parties
5.) My perfect mate (male or female)has:
a.) land, title and an Adam’s apple the size of an 8 ball
b.) a black leather jacket and a pack of Marlboro reds
c.) Teeth like Serge Gainsbourg’s
d.) Only one? C’est une blague? (Are you joking?)
6.) You need to get across Paris toute suite for an important dejeuner with your favorite designer. You choose:
a.) public transport.
c.) a Lincoln Towne car
d.) I don’t do ‘toute suite.” A Ducati and 30 minutes late.
How did you score?
1.) If you answered….
a – too obvious! Nil points-
b – what does this even mean? 10pts if you can talk your way out of it.
c – 25 points for creativity
d – 50 points. You’re on the right track.
2.) If you answered…
a – Um hello…we have servants to tend to these things…zero!
b – Boring, but how else can you poison the old hag and inherit the lot? I like where you head’s at – 25 pts.
c- 30 pts – ride like the wind!
d – 100 pts. You’re getting the hang of it.
3.) If you answered…
a -Un bourge – aïe! Rien-
b- What are you Heidi? Back to your mountain! 5pts.
c- 25 points. You’re on the right track.
d – Who needs food when there is shopping, smokes and Chanel? Not you – 50 points!
What your score means -
0 – you are not fit to clean my boots. Casse-toi!
0-25: You are bourgeois. Get a Hundai. Bonne chance-
25-75: You have potential. Perhaps you could marry someone with title and entertain us at parties. We could do with a little intrigue…
75+ : Bien fait! You are d’enfer – throw some designer duds in your weekender and head over to my private jet. Allons-y!
*Disclosure: not my real uncle. Not my photo. Pinched it from the internet without permission (duh -aristos don’t need to ask Pigdog!). For (my) entertainment purposes only…